Growing up in Ajax, Ontario, in a predominantly white community, U of T Alumni Shalana Deonarain always felt alienated. From kindergarten to grade eight, she and her sister stood out as the only two brown students who were of indo-caribbean heritage.
“I don't know what it means to be Caribbean,” she recalls. Even at school multicultural events, Shalana remembers being automatically put into shows, such as talent shows or multicultural nights, because of her skin color. “I had a really bad identity crisis when I was little because I always thought I was Indian. I had clothes that you’d see people wear in India, I listened and danced to Bollywood music, and no one looked like me”.
Her parents, both born in Guyana, enrolled her in tabla and harmonium classes in Brampton on weekends, hoping to connect her to her heritage. Yet even there, Shalana often felt out of place—different attire, different accents, unfamiliar cultural references, and a lingering question: Where do I belong?
Discovering The Centre for Caribbean Studies
It wasn’t until she met with an academic advisor at the University of Toronto that Shalana discovered the Caribbean Studies program. Initially, she enrolled in the first-year course out of curiosity: NEW120Y1 (now CAR120Y1), treating it almost like an elective. But that class became a turning point. “It completely changed my perspective of myself and what I knew,” she says. “It was eye-opening—and comforting—to realize other students had the same identity struggles.”
Shalana decided to pair her Minor in Caribbean Studies with a Major in Critical Studies in Equity and Solidarity and a Minor in Buddhism, Psychology and Mental Health. While her ultimate goal was law school, she deliberately chose the unconventional route in her Program of Study choice, rather than opting for programs like Political Science, she chose programs that would align more holistically for her and help her grow personally not just academically.
The Program as a Support System
Beyond academics, Caribbean Studies provided her with community and mentorship. Shalana notes that along with her sister, she is the first to graduate from university in her family. Professors and peers became like family, checking in regularly, offering advice, and helping her navigate her future opportunities and even applications for law school.
After writing an essay for CAR324H1 - Capitalism and Crisis in the Caribbean, “the program championed it, shared it on their platforms, and opened doors for me.”. The program also connected her to cultural events, conferences, and leadership roles, including serving on the Caribbean Studies Student Union executive team. These experiences deepened her understanding of Caribbean history while strengthening her confidence and voice as a Caribbean woman in Canada.
Caribbean studies helped me, I think more than I can say. It helped me be able to have a voice about things, especially contribute to the narrative of like Caribbean peoples, specifically Caribbean women. It just helped me like find my community.
Networking also helped her gain an opportunity to publish a reworked version of the essay with Caribbean Collective Magazine. In 2025, she released her article Plantation Economies: An Exploration of Slavery and the Commodification of Caribbean Women.
Read more at: https://www.caribbeancollectivemag.com/feminism/caribbeanslavery
Healing an Identity Rift
Caribbean Studies didn’t just enhance Shalana’s academic life—it reshaped her relationship with her heritage and family. She began having deeper conversations with her parents about their lives in Guyana, sharing new historical knowledge, and even challenging internalized colonial attitudes.
“It helped me educate my parents on things they didn’t always know, and it helped us all connect more deeply to our roots,” she reflects.
Advice for Future Students
Shalana encourages new Caribbean Studies students to step out of the back row and engage—ask professors questions, connect with peers, and attend events.
Don’t choose courses just because they ‘fit’ your career path—choose what inspires you. And remember, it’s okay to change your path. The program is full of opportunities if you show up and look for them.
- Special Thanks to Shalana Deonarain for sharing her story and journey.